I find this is a good outfit to feel fearless in. And hiding behind the new camera helps too.
Fearless is not a word that I really feel like describes me, but I would like to change that. Really. I want to try. Part of the reason I named this blog "Favor the Brave" is because that is what I am doing by writing it. I am going outside myself, doing what I love, but also what scares me, sharing my successes and failures, my thoughts and observations. It's actually kind of a daunting undertaking when you look at it like that.
But despite all my aspirations about living without fear, I think I really am ruled by it most of the time. There are always so many things that could go wrong and I am a worrier.
But there are always so many things that are about to go right. At least that's what I've been telling myself lately.
As I embark on another semester, new classes, living with new roommates, planning my wedding and looking frantically for a job in a city (and state) I've never lived in before so I can get married at 22 I can't help thinking...ummm... wow. Scary. Subtext: What was I thinking?
I'm afraid I won't figure out how to balance a long distance engagement, college friends, classes, comps, and theater. I'm afraid I won't find a job, or that I'll be forced into a situation where I have to chose between what I love doing and eating. I'm afraid I won't find a place I can afford to live once I get there. I'm afraid my wedding won't stay under budget and still be the way I want it to be.
But more than anything, I'm afraid that I'll never push my limits because I'm afraid. And I don't know if there's a better reason to try to be fearless than that.
So here we go. Be strong, be calm, be brave. The Fall '11 mantra.