earning my name

Clothes: all thrifted, necklace made by me.

I named this blog over a year ago when I was just hunting around for a new creative outlet, a place to put stuff I made, things I liked, and outfits I wore. I wanted a cool name, a unique name, but I didn't really think that hard about it. I'm not a major risk taker, in life or fashion, but the idea of putting my name on "Favor the Brave" appealed to me.

Fast forward a year or so and it's like the very name of my site is urging me to become the person I am meant to be, which, as always, requires great courage. At the risk of getting too cerebral in a post with pictures of clothes, find that thing you're afraid of and go do it. Go say hi to that guy, go apply for that job, go ask that question. Heck, go sing that song on karaoke night. Or in my case, wear that high waisted skirt even though my legs are too short and chop off those bangs.

 Life's too short people.

Just like me.

peace&love,

Jill

the plan

Today is a new day, part of a new beginning. Friday was my last day at my job and though I will miss the people I worked with, I am very excited and nervous about what is to come, mostly because it involves a lot more writing, making, and wearing clothes I like than the last few months have.

But change is scary. I am artistic but practical, and part of me is terrified that I will not grab this chance my the horns and wrestle every last drop of potential out of it. I'm afraid of fear taking over. Pretty ironic, isn't it?

The night before I spoke to my boss about my plans to leave I couldn't sleep, so I got up and made myself a schedule for my days without office hours to plan around. Then after the schedule I wrote myself something else, a mental plan, if you will. Here it is, for your enjoyment, edification, and reflection. I know that every stage of my life could use an extra dose of this kind of outlook.

" Cultivate silence, trust, prayer, and peace. Humble yourself before the Lord’s plans and be realistic and fair with yourself. In all moments of disquiet, bring yourself back to center with God. Lay your moments as well as your hours before him in reverence and in humility and trust His Voice, wherever it reaches you. Bless the Lord with your actions, your art, and your attempts. Strive only to serve Him, and live in accord with your vocation.

 And when the bad days happen, as they surely will, have the grace to cry deeply and freely, offer it up, and move on. Our trials water the gardens of our souls in such a way that gives them flavor unmatched by easier times.

Focus on embracing your gifts, flexing your abilities, sacrificing your security for the sake of growth, and judging yourself more gently. Begin to trust others to do the same. Look for the lovable in all things. Become the lantern all artists are called to be, even when the divine spark is so close to consuming itself. Will and pray for the light to radiate, for we are often darkest to ourselves when our light touches others most deeply. Seek the approval only of God and listen also to your husband, whom God has given to you to help sanctify and in turn helps to sanctify and lead you. Allow yourself to see your soul though their eyes.

Respect your limitations as well as your strengths. Push yourself, but remember that life is given just as much to be enjoyed as it is to be struggled through. Give yourself permission to stop working and be. Focus. Learn to be where you are and nowhere else. Love."

That's the plan.

peace&love,

Jill

start today

What are you planning to do? And why are you waiting?

It's is the time for action, because the moment is now.

peace&love,

Jill

have courage

 

This is my Angel of Courage. It was a gift from my 7th grade math teacher when I was preparing to move midway through the year to a new school. I've always kept it with me, ever since. It is one of the only purely decorative items that keeps making the cut to come to college each year, and it always sits right on my desk where I can see it, even now.

Moving at 12 is hard for a kid, but it made me stronger. Courage is really about doing what your afraid to do because you know you need to. It has nothing to do with the fear you feel, only the way you act. 

Moving at 21 is plenty scary, and I still need to have courage. I need to walk into all these job interviews (two today!), learn to drive in crazy traffic, and try to follow God's will for my life with courage, even when I don't know what is going to happen. I have felt the fear, but I have not been mastered by it. 

So once again, here is my re-commitment to being courageous--in the big, and in the small.

Favor the brave. Do what makes you stronger, and don't give up.

peace&love,

Jill

Fearless

 

I find this is a good outfit to feel fearless in. And hiding behind the new camera helps too.

Fearless is not a word that I really feel like describes me, but I would like to change that. Really. I want to try. Part of the reason I named this blog "Favor the Brave" is because that is what I am doing by writing it. I am going outside myself, doing what I love, but also what scares me, sharing my successes and failures, my thoughts and observations. It's actually kind of a daunting undertaking when you look at it like that. 

But despite all my aspirations about living without fear, I think I really am ruled by it most of the time. There are always so many things that could go wrong and I am a worrier.

But there are always so many things that are about to go right. At least that's what I've been telling myself lately.

As I embark on another semester, new classes, living with new roommates, planning my wedding and looking frantically for a job in a city (and state) I've never lived in before so I can get married at 22 I can't help thinking...ummm... wow. Scary. Subtext: What was I thinking?

I'm afraid I won't figure out how to balance a long distance engagement, college friends, classes, comps, and theater. I'm afraid I won't find a job, or that I'll be forced into a situation where I have to chose between what I love doing and eating. I'm afraid I won't find a place I can afford to live once I get there. I'm afraid my wedding won't stay under budget and still be the way I want it to be.

But more than anything, I'm afraid that I'll never push my limits because I'm afraid. And I don't know if there's a better reason to try to be fearless than that.

So here we go. Be strong, be calm, be brave. The Fall '11 mantra.

peace&love,
Jill