Thursday, December 6, 2012

50 states of brave introduces: ms. pennsylvania!


If you're just joining us, 50 States of Brave is a blogging project that celebrates the little opportunities we have to be brave everyday and the women who make these habits a way of life. As part of the project, everyone blogger is sending in a story of the bravest thing they've ever done for all of us to get to read, which makes us pretty excited. 

The whole project is sponsored by Favoring Brave, my Etsy store. Each lady gets to pick an item from the store to model in her post and keep as a souvenir of her bravery!

Wanna see all of the brave ladies already featured? Visit our lovely archives or Pinterest page of bloggers and their Favoring Brave picks!

Wanna join in the fun and represent your state? There's more info about that at the bottom of this post.


Alright here's the good stuff, and I do mean good stuff. This post is incredible.

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THE BRAVEST THING I’VE EVER DONE: LET GO AND MOVED ON

I’ve done a lot of brave stuff in my life.  Looking back, I never really thought about it as being brave.  It was just exciting and new and felt right.  At 21, I took off across the country to spend a summer in LA all by myself.  Shortly after college, I got married.  Six years later, I took a huge leap of faith and left a job that made me miserable.  Heck, even now I strap eight wheels to my feet every week and let girls try to beat the crap out of me in roller derby!  And so, here I am – settled in my small town, still married, homeowner (yeah, that’s brave!) and pretty darn happy.  I find that as I become more comfortable in my life, the big moments of bravery are fewer and farther between, but they are not altogether gone.

This past year has been a tough one.  I opened up about it a little bit back in March, which was brave in itself - but found it difficult to continue that dialogue once the situation continued to go unresolved.  Without going in to too much detail, my husband and I were ready to start a family, but apparently, my body was not.  We considered our options and dabbled in some non-invasive fertility treatment.  The more we tried, the harder it became.  And the harder it got, the more is swallowed all the good things in our life.  I’ve been raised to always go with my gut.  If it doesn’t feel right, then it’s not for me.  If you live your life this way, then you know what I mean.  I find it difficult to explain to people that feeling that invades your inner-most fibers, screaming “MOVE ON!”

There are a million and one quotes about letting go and moving on.  One in particular has always struck a chord with me: "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."  So true.  I always felt that if it didn’t happen, it only meant that there was something else in store for us.  But knowing that and acting on it are two very different things.  At least when you’re angry, sad and frustrated, you know what to expect.  For some reason, picking yourself up and moving on takes way more strength.  And let’s not forget bravery.
For me, I had no idea what else I would do with my life.  We spent many years designing a lifestyle that would be perfect for an expanding family.  Suddenly, that just turned into nothing more than idle time.  Beyond the personal frustration, I feared what others would say or think.  Everyone has an opinion.  Period.  I feared being accused of not wanting to be a mother badly enough to make a few sacrifices or forever having my accomplishments trivialized next  to those who accomplish the same (and more) all while raising a family.  The more I let these fears and insecurities eat away at me, the more they ate away at my work, my happiness and my marriage.  It was time to move on.

So, I finally put on my big girl panties, took a deep breath, sought some help and have been slowly, but surely, letting go and moving on.  It wasn’t easy, but it has certainly been worth it.  This past month has brought more happiness and satisfaction than the previous ten combined.  My marriage has been filled with new hobbies, new goals and a new-found love and appreciation.  Last week, I had an amazing job fall into my lap and am filled to the brim with excitement about my new career.  I was even able to find actual, honest joy for a friend when she announced she was expecting!

It takes a lot of bravery to venture into the unknown.  Changing directions is not easy, but you never know what may be waiting if you don’t.  A little bravery is all it took to move on, take charge and truly enjoy this incredible life that’s waiting for me. 

Please visit Kyla's blog, Blue Collar Catwalk, to read more about her life and drool over her amazing style.


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Think you have what it takes to represent your state? Awesome! Here's what you have to do to apply:

1. Follow Favor the Brave through GFC or Bloglovin.
2. Send me an email at favoringbrave@gmail.com with your name, you blog address, what state you're from, and why you should get to represent your state as it's resident brave lady!

Some states are filled already, but there are lots of openings left!

peace&love,
Jill

13 comments:

  1. This brings tears to my eyes. I love Kyla's blog and her bravery is an inspiration.

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  2. So, because your body won't cooperate you gave up on having children altogether? What about adoption? More invasive fertility treatments? I am adopted and hate to hear about people just "giving up and moving on" without even considering it as an option. You could give a great and loving life to someone. Oh well.

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  3. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Letting go is hard and scary and as a Type A, not being able to control something would destroy me. Congratulations on your new job!

    Samantha @ Sam ipsa loquitur

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  4. There is a big difference between moving on and giving up. Unless you have the same experience (which I would hope you never do), then you could never fully understand. Even then, the answer is different for everyone. Whatever that answer may be, it is a personal choice and deserves respect at the very least. I have no idea what our future holds, but I do know that I would never be able to fully embrace it without moving on from here.

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  5. Thank you Rebecca! I appreciate your compassion :)

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  6. I have always had a feeling that I may never have children, and have had different signs in my life signifying so, but only signs, nothing official and no attempts as of yet, and I was always okay with it at a younger age. Now, in my late twenties, after finding the right guy and feeling oddly new maternal urges, I worry that the signs may become reality if/when that time ever comes, and I can't imagine how I will feel. I really admire women that move on in their life without children, for whatever reason/choice, it is something so assumed upon us that should not be so assumed. It takes great courage to move on in our society with a lifestyle that people will constantly (almost rudely) question. I admire you, girl, and I've been watchin your blog since this summer. It makes a girl who inherited a strong set of legs want to be as fashionable, gorgeous, and confident as yourself.

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  7. Brave decision. Thanks for sharing your journey!


    It's really easy sometimes to let the things you can't have define your life even at the expense of all the wonderful things that you do actually (been there, done that!) so I commend you for being willing to move on from that particular aspect.

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  8. A lovely answer to a weak, anonymous author; women should be more supportive of one another. I adore your blog and the honesty and authenticity you are able to communicate. Truly brave, Kyla.

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  9. I've been a huge fan of Kyla's after stumbling on her website few months ago. Love how she shares her love of fashion, snippets of her life & now here, her recent obstacles. I applaud anyone who follows their heart & not what the norm has to be. We should encourage each other & not sneer from the side lines. Thanks for sharing Kyla - good luck to you in your new chapter!

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  10. Kyla, you are a truly BRAVE and STRONG woman. Whatever the decision you and your hubby make is the right one for you and NO ONE can tell you that you made the wrong choice. What you guys are going through is something that many women today are struggling with and some don't come out on the positive end like you are. Bravo!

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  11. Kyla, you are so awesome. We have been going through the same thing and aren't quite at the "move on" stage yet but I can see it in our future. I admire your tenacity and decision making ability. It sounds like you have any awesome husband.

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  12. Thanks so much for sharing that Kyla. I am a fairly new follower of your blog. I could write a whole post back on this subject, but man suffice it to say this was a succinct, eloquent and inspiring post on a topic we all face. So well put, it really got me reflecting and feeling encouraged. You sound like a kick ass lady and I'm glad to hear things are going so well now. Thanks again!

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